Friday, December 10, 2004

last night i felt the weight of the world lift from my shoulders. some may think that this happened because i finished my last assignment for my last class in college or maybe because i finally got some things sorted out in my life... but no, the correct answer is that last night was my last shift at the village pantry. oh my, the things i have learned in my time at 3301 morrison road. for instance, did you know that not all gas stations have cameras at the gas pumps and if you are sneaky you never have to pay for gas again in your life? or maybe that hoosier lottery scratch-off tickets are specially marked so that you can tell which ones are likely to be winners before you even scratch them off? how bout the fact that "fresh baked" donuts are really just defrosted and heated up every night. a fountain drink costs about 10 cents (conservatively) and they are able to doop people into paying $1.27, a 20 oz. soda costs the company less than a dollar and they can sell them for $1.48...strange it seems to me. my store did 5 figures in business every single day of the week, that's over 10,000 every single day of the year...usually closer to 15K-17K...zoinks.
however, the money isn't of great interest to me. what intrigues me is the consistent behaviors of people that severely piss convinience store employees off. these are a few pet peeves of mine and points of etique for the reader to consider:
1. Please, dear God, stop taking on your damn cell phone long enough to pay for whatever you have.
2. Have your ID ready (there are only about 400 stickers between the door and the counter telling you this, don't look at us like we're from Mars when you get carded).
3. Don't ignore the cashier when he/she greets you. At least have the common descency to utter a simple "hi" when you are greeted.
4. Take that cigarette out of your mouth before you begin talking to us. I hate having smoke from your cheap-ass, $1.99 a pack smokes blown in my face just because you can't stand to take the 10 cent hit to the wallet.
5. Convenience store shopping is not rocket surgery. get in, get out, get away from me. Don't stand around playing the quarter machine or the pull-tab lottery. No one in thier right mind should want to spend thier valuable time in a place like this w/out getting paid...so bugger off.
6. Don't walk in at a busy time with a stack of lottery tickets 3 inches thick and have the gall to ask, "do you have time to check these?"
7. Don't scratch off lottery tickets at the front of a 6 person line.
8. Don't expect culinary excellence from a gas station.
9. For the love of Pete never, ever, ever ask, "do you have a restroom" before looking around and noticing the 5 foot long sign with 'restroom' emblazened on it.
10. Lastly, do not use the freakin' gas station as a bank. We don't want to change in $50 in ones so your already large ass is more comfortable. Don't come in and by 10 $500 money orders at 11:30 at night...yes thats 5000 cash, you tell me what's going on. We are not money-launderers you drug peddling, louis vuitton wearing, lexus driving, wanna be gang bangers.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home