sorry, couldn't resist this.

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST
By: Garrett Hols
It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.

my, my, my...what a fall break. i distinctly remember being severely pissed at my roommate who was jetting off to nyc for a weekend of... er, fun. however, upon realizing what i have learned in the scope of these four days at home i don't think a trip to the big apple was in order for me.
lets start with thursday, not on the break, but still important. for starters i took roomie into town to pick up some stuff he would need for his trip we talked and i babbled on about how jealous i was. came back to school and went to class to my only thursday class... 2pm on the day before a break; oh yes, bonus points were in order. came back, packed, left TU for a long weekend at home, with one stop, work for 6 hrs. but oh well.
friday i woke up and passed the daylight hours doing what i do best, spending hours of my life on the golf course! oh it was marvelous. dad and i and my associate pastor (and more accurately, friends) on what must have been the finest day in a while among its rainy counterparts, outdoors in the sun. the front nine, dad played with us, the back left me and dave. never have i enjoyed nine holes of golf more thoroughly.
talk on the front was typical male chit-chat: nice weather, crack a joke, etc. however on the back things were discussed that still have my head spinning. i'd like to believe that i'm open minded about any issue that crosses my path, but after talking at lenght about just how shitty our world is becoming, i think it's time to slam the door of tolerance. a brash statement i know, but i heard a song the other day that has resonated in my mind, goes a little something like... "you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything." appropriate sentiment considering that election day is a week off and the results will determine the moral state of this country that i love. for a long time there has been talk of the inability to legislate morality, and while this idea was conceived (ahem, note this most recent word.) to separate church and state, i feel that the men who penned this idea would go into immediate cardiac arrest should they see the cesspool thier nation "conceived in liberty" has become.
at first glance my key issues for next tuesday were education, economics, global policy... in that order. however, after a little thought and reflection, i know that i was dooped into getting so caught up in worldly issues that i couldn't hear God saying, "hey what about Me?" after all, what do i have that God hasn't given to me? what do i have that's not all gonna burn someday anyhow? The undeniable answer came back to me, "i've got only one thing that matters...my soul." when spafford penned 'it is well with my soul' he didn't write 'it is well with my economic portfolio' or 'it is well with the rest of the world', he wrote, 'with my SOUL'. so i have to ask myself, is it well with my soul if i put someone in office who supports the "right" of doctors to kill babies as a form of birth control or for any other reason for that matter? (incidently, did you know that aborted babies are SOLD to research labs and sent FedEx throughout the country? how fucked up is that?) is it well with my soul to support someone who even remotely entertains the idea of desecrating the sanctity of marriage? (adam and eve, not adam and steve.) my answer must be a thundering NO, it's not ok. i once heard of a Christian who was asked, "Don't you think you're a little close-minded?" his response floored me. "Yeah, but I can afford to be, I'm right."

you may wonder where my blog name came from... well here ya go. my senior pastor preached a sermon on this text on sept. 16, 2001. consider the symbolism present... please comment

today i slept in. it's a habit that has earned me several nicknames and cost me a lot in the joke department, but it is one of the things that i love most. i love going to sleep and not having to wake up at any certain time. i think the knowledge that there is no alarm in my immediate future makes me sleep better. i slept in, got up, watched some football, went to dinner, watched some baseball (go sox!) and now am winding down and wondering how long it will be before i find my pillow again.
i am a typical man: sleep, sports, food... now if i can only find a typical woman to counter my ultra-masculanized (is that even a word?) lifestyle all will be right with the world.
how can i have wasted 3 1/2 years of my life in an environment packed with the type of girl that i know is right for me and have come up empty? i am at a loss.

today we talked about pantheism in contemp... what an idea! i am god. why on earth would i want this responsibility? why would i want complete control over my life?
last week we talked about atheism. discussing polar opposites in the scope of a few days can make your head spin, but i think i made it through. did you know that atheism is impossible? if there really was no God, there would be no foundation for morals, therefore there would be no right or wrong. scary huh?
food for thought in a ever-progressing post-modern world where the lines between right and wrong are progressively blurring. remember, "a nation that forgets God [and by association God's moral laws] will perish."

solitude - i've found myself pondering this idea a lot in the recent minutes, hours, and days of my life. in many cases solitude is something to be aspired towards. it's a goal people reach for as their private escape from the world around. i'm sick of my disconnection from the world. tired of passing day after day in a confined space where some things can't be said and even more can't be done. is this bad? what is my problem? i sit around and let the world and the people in it walk into (and out of) my life and never make an effort to do them the same courtesy. what personal hang-up lies on the underside of this condition i find myself in? why can't i embrace the world around me; the environment that i've been placed in? tonite i am acutely aware of the fact that i am a solitary kinda guy because in my quest to push off homework, i have found no one to join me.